Wednesday, March 3, 2010

BREAKING NEWS: Esther brazenly smokes in front of a "NO SMOKING" sign...


Esther was spotted a short while ago, brazenly smoking directly in front of a "no smoking" sign, located in the freight entrance of the building where she works. Our reporter on the scene in the area snapped the following EXCLUSIVE PHOTO, which features Esther coyly posing for the photographer, which a rare move for the lady who usually dodges the paparazzi, by any means necessary.

EXCLUSIVE PHOTO: No smoking? Really?


Esther declined to comment, although she seemed highly amused by the irony of the situation. The consequences of smoking in a prohibited zone have not immediately made themselves known.

TOP STORY: "Amazing" Roast prepared at The Lair...

It appears that Head Council Member E was burning the midnight oil last night, at The Lair. Her experimental efforts towards a London broil resulted in an incredibly amazing dish, as the meat was braised in a BBQ-twinged sauce, along with baby carrots. Uncertain as to how the dish would come out, she extremely pleased with the end result, although it was unfortunately too late in the night to call anyone and share her excitement. Fellow Council Member Limited Time Offer Skillet played an intregal role in the roasts' preparation, although Lord Dreidel and Baron von Dracula spent most of the evening continuing their rest (see yesterday's top story for more details on that.)

Head Council Member E issued the following statement:

"It came out great. Spectacular. Sublime! The meat is so tender, you can cut it with the edge of a fork. The sauce, so juicy and tangy. And it was so easy to make! I am quite pleased. Indeed."

E plans to keep the recipe top-secret for the time being, although it was the first recipe to grace her fancy new recipe binder. Plans are in the works to prepare a brisket version of the roast for the upcoming Passover holiday feast, and she also brought some along with her today for lunch, which she plans to eat with some white rice, to be purchased from a local Chinese or Thai establishment. In fact, she was spotted by one of our reporters earlier this morning, walking through the rain with an extra spring in her step, and it believed that her enthusiasm stems from anticipation of her homemade lunch. Plans to offer some of the roast to Citizen Meow have been called off, as she would prefer to keep it all to herself. Citizen Meow was unavailable for comment on the matter.