It has just been revealed that Esther plans to leave work earlier than usual today, in an attempt to prepare her bangs for a trip to Williamsburg, to see an independent theater production. We have received unconfirmed reports that she will be travelling with the ever-elusive Meow.
For more information about Williamsburg, Brooklyn, feel free to check out the following links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Williamsburg,_Brooklyn
http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/
Friday, February 19, 2010
Emerging Report: Blog comment left by "an interested party" was obviously left by Meow.
It has become apparent to The Headline News Editorial Staff that The Meow himself left the sole comment on the recent Headline News Blog entry, regarding a pink flamingo slipper's appeal to The Council for membership. Although the comment was signed by "an interested party," the vagueness of the signature, combined with the following quote, defending "Citizen Meow" has lead the entire staff of THN to believe that the comment was indeed left by Meow himself. Here is the quote in question:
Although his message is admirable and inspirational, his thinly veiled attempts to disguise his identity caused quite the collective cackle over here at THN Headquarters.... Interestingly enough, Meow has never confirmed whether or not he actually is a member of THN's vast readership. The Meow goes by several monikers (such as Agent Meow, The Cat's Meow, to name just a few), and he is well versed in the evasive techniques that are necessary for him to dodge notice from fans, stalkers and the media, at large. He is extremely private, and takes great care to keep his personal matters out of the public eye. Some of the measures he takes include his stance against Facebook, his wardrobe of mostly black, and some light public disguises (such as a knit hat, and spectacles.) However, because of his immense popularity, a shout-out from The Meow himself would surely boost our readership, so perhaps this article can pursuade him to speak (or comment) aloud...Meow? Meep? Meeeep?
"I dread to think what the threat of more motions, filibusters and bureaucratic red tape will have for Citizen Meow, whose modest proposals are often at the mercy of the Council. Enough is enough! We must stand up for our beliefs and values, lest they become overrun with corrupt officials!"
Although his message is admirable and inspirational, his thinly veiled attempts to disguise his identity caused quite the collective cackle over here at THN Headquarters.... Interestingly enough, Meow has never confirmed whether or not he actually is a member of THN's vast readership. The Meow goes by several monikers (such as Agent Meow, The Cat's Meow, to name just a few), and he is well versed in the evasive techniques that are necessary for him to dodge notice from fans, stalkers and the media, at large. He is extremely private, and takes great care to keep his personal matters out of the public eye. Some of the measures he takes include his stance against Facebook, his wardrobe of mostly black, and some light public disguises (such as a knit hat, and spectacles.) However, because of his immense popularity, a shout-out from The Meow himself would surely boost our readership, so perhaps this article can pursuade him to speak (or comment) aloud...Meow? Meep? Meeeep?
DEVELOPING STORY: New Council Member?!?
Chaos Erupts at The Lair after Unidentified Pink Flamingo Slipper Petitions The Council for Membership!
We have just received a BREAKING NEWS REPORT from our deep-cover reporter on the scene at Lair 5-I...it appears that an unidentified pink flamingo slipper has just attempted to petition The Council for membership!
Our reporter provided the following candid photo, which shows the pink flamingo slipper in talks with Baron von Dracula:
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We have just received a BREAKING NEWS REPORT from our deep-cover reporter on the scene at Lair 5-I...it appears that an unidentified pink flamingo slipper has just attempted to petition The Council for membership!
Our reporter provided the following candid photo, which shows the pink flamingo slipper in talks with Baron von Dracula:
The Council was completed unprepared for this unexpected appeal, and was unable to respond to the flamingo slippers petition at the time. Lord Dreidel was apparently taking a catnap, and Head Council Member E was not even on the premises. However, Baron von Dracula was manning his post when the Flamingo Slipper approached, and he plans to bring the matter to a Council Meeting for further discussion. The Council tentatively plans to meet early next week.
As for The Flamingo Slipper, little is known about him at this point, and he was unavailable for comment immediately following his imprompt meeting with Council Member Baron von Dracula. He is a fairly recent resident of Lair 5-I, and is known for being rather quiet and unobtrusive, despite his seemingly garish appearance. He allegedly also has a twin, who did not join him in making the appeal to The Baron. Rumours suggest that this twin could potentially be of the "evil" variation. The Council will most likely launch a full investigation and background check on The Flamingo Slipper and his associates before reaching any sort of decision. The Council, which currently stands as an exclusive and omniscent group of 4, has never before been faced with such a sudden and unprecedented request. Although known for their generally vague and elusive nature, we are currently compiling an FAQ about The Council, as part of an upcoming expose report (just please promise NOT TO TELL THEM, lest they attempt to tighten Lair security. Thanks.)
We will continue to update you on this swiftly developing story, as the details unfold...
Breaking News: Purchase of BBQ chicken sandwich CONFIRMED!
This just in, eager readers! Emerging reports indicate that Esther has indeed purchased a BBQ Chicken Sandwich from Au Bon Pain for lunch, as earlier reports indicated she might. Esther returned to her office shortly before 2:00pm (Eastern Standard Time), with sandwich in tow. The sandwich was housed in a brown paper bag. Apparently, she arrived at Au Bon Pain just in time to purchase the last one available. Our reporter on the scene managed to snap this exclusive photo of the sandwich revealed in all its glory:
Esther was unavailable for comment, as she was too busy eating the sandwich. A follow-up report is expected later on today.
Report: Esther plans lunchtime venture to Au Bon Pain
We have received an unconfirmed report that Esther plans to purchase a sandwich from au Bon Pain today. Her visit is tentatively scheduled to fall between the hours of 12:oopm and 1:45pm. Although few details are available at this point, rumours are circulating that she plans to purchase a BBQ chicken sandwich. We will provide continuing updated coverage of this story throughout the day.
TOP STORY: Headline News presents...THE HEADLINE NEWS Blog!
THE HEADLINE NEWS proudly presents the debut of its brand-new "blog," which you have fortunately stumbled upon, and are reading at this very moment!
This decision was reached late last evening, after an inpromptu meeting of The Council. The Council decided that a new format for THE HEADLINE NEWS was necessary, in order to demonstrate its position as the be-all-end-all source of cutting-edge news and information. There was initially some heated discussion, since the blog format is apparently so new-fangled, that certain Council members were not even familiar with it. "Limited Time Offer" Skillet, in particular, was completely baffled by the idea, and required lengthy explaination from "Lord" Dreidel, and "Baron von" Dracula. After a brief explaination and demonstration, he still seemed confused, but the meeting had to proceed, as certain Council Members were getting tired, and wanted to retire for the evening (not to name names, but the Honorable and Esteemed Judge Esther, who stands as the Head of The Council, was caught visibly yawning on several occasions.)
If you too are puzzled by this concept, please note that you are indeed reading a "blog," and kindly allow The Headline News to take its proper position in your daily reading as The Reining Overlord of all blogs lurking within the online landscape. We hope that our example emerges as one that will lead other blog-creators the world over towards following in our footsteps. As always, The Headline News stands as a pioneer in its field for adopting this new technology, and we hope our readers will find that the blog format is a convenient way to access The Headlines News, throughout the entire day (provided that you have internet access, in order to do so.) We invite you to check the blog throughout the day, for up-to-minute updates on everything you didn't know you needed to know!
For more detailed information about blogs, and their relatively short history, feel free to visit this internet website: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog
Please note that our staff is still in the process of getting accustomed to working in such a technologically advanced medium, so we apologize in advance for any technical difficulties that may occur during your HEADLINE NEWS experience. We also welcome your feedback and comments.
Happy Friday!!
This decision was reached late last evening, after an inpromptu meeting of The Council. The Council decided that a new format for THE HEADLINE NEWS was necessary, in order to demonstrate its position as the be-all-end-all source of cutting-edge news and information. There was initially some heated discussion, since the blog format is apparently so new-fangled, that certain Council members were not even familiar with it. "Limited Time Offer" Skillet, in particular, was completely baffled by the idea, and required lengthy explaination from "Lord" Dreidel, and "Baron von" Dracula. After a brief explaination and demonstration, he still seemed confused, but the meeting had to proceed, as certain Council Members were getting tired, and wanted to retire for the evening (not to name names, but the Honorable and Esteemed Judge Esther, who stands as the Head of The Council, was caught visibly yawning on several occasions.)
If you too are puzzled by this concept, please note that you are indeed reading a "blog," and kindly allow The Headline News to take its proper position in your daily reading as The Reining Overlord of all blogs lurking within the online landscape. We hope that our example emerges as one that will lead other blog-creators the world over towards following in our footsteps. As always, The Headline News stands as a pioneer in its field for adopting this new technology, and we hope our readers will find that the blog format is a convenient way to access The Headlines News, throughout the entire day (provided that you have internet access, in order to do so.) We invite you to check the blog throughout the day, for up-to-minute updates on everything you didn't know you needed to know!
For more detailed information about blogs, and their relatively short history, feel free to visit this internet website: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog
Please note that our staff is still in the process of getting accustomed to working in such a technologically advanced medium, so we apologize in advance for any technical difficulties that may occur during your HEADLINE NEWS experience. We also welcome your feedback and comments.
Happy Friday!!
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