The list of casualties includes:
- a bag of butterscotch chips, opened and marked with an expiration date of August, 2009
- a bushel of asparagus that had turned pink
- two moldy festering artichokes, hidden in a black bag
- half an old lemon wrapped in foil
- cheesecake from Valentine's Day, also wrapped in foil
- a half-eaten container of spreadable port wine wine, which was originally pink, but quickly becoming blue (and gray)
- three separate instances of spoiled mozzerella cheese
- one moldy pickle (pictured below)
EXCLUSIVE PHOTO: The lone moldy pickle!
While The Lair kitchen was temporarily evacuated, during the intial investigation and removal of the insidious lurking grossness, our reporter on the scene claims that the scene has simmered down, and as of this morning, Council Members and Lair residents alike have been permitted to re-enter The Lair Kitchen. The situation was completely rectified early this morning, as the grossness itself, which was contained in white drawstring garbage bag overnight, was disposed of at approximately 9:32am (Eastern Standard Time.)Limited Time Offer Skillet offered the following quote:
"The stench was unbearable, and the reality of the situation was truly horrifying...I cannot understand how something so terrifying and insidious could lurk unnoticed in my domain for so long."
No word yet on when the talks will be rescheduled, as Head Council Member E will most likely want to allow sufficent time for The Council to emotionally recover from the ordeal.
As of press time, there are no plans for a News-sponsored parade for Citizen Meow.
This tragedy reminds me very much of a recent and similar circumstance dubbed the 'Park Slope Purge'. The celery, the 3 mushrooms, the half eaten red pepper, the romaine...oh...the romaine....
ReplyDeleteMy best wishes for all involved -
Sympathetic in Brooklyn
No parade?
ReplyDelete-Curious in Prospect Heights