Hungover Council has yet to notice missing member...

The tension is building as Council Members Lord Dreidel and Baron von Dracula have yet to notice that Limited Time Offer Skillet (informally known as LTO) has escaped from the culinary wing of The Lair. LTO was last seen partying in the streets with some unidentified revelers. He has not returned to The Lair as of press time.

We have confirmed reports that The Lord and The Baron, as well as Head Council Member E have decided that all Council Matters will be tabled for today, and The Council shall resume activity tomorrow. All parties, in addition to most of our own staff, remain slightly hungover from Wednesday's festivities.

BREAKING NEWS: Limited Time on the lam?? Skillet spotted making merry with roving band of inebriated strangers!!

In a shocking turn of events, it appears that Limited Time Offer Skillet has slipped out of The Lair, completely unannounced, and has joined a band of roving merry-makers coming from The Saint Patricks Day parade! One of our beat reporters has just sent us the following EXCLUSIVE PHOTO, which shows Limited Time flanked by several unidentified persons, wearing unusual hats, and lots of green:

EXCLUSIVE PHOTO: Limited Time Offer Skillet out and about!

Limited Time Offer can be seen in the upper right hand corner. He appears to have acquired a green boa, although it is unclear whether the boa was intentionally acquired by Limited Time as a clever disguise of sorts, or whether it was bestowed upon him by his companions. It appears that some of Limited Time's companions clearly hail from New Jersey, a fact which is certain to dismay The Council at large. Their excitement, and general stance, would indicate that alcoholic libations have been involved in their festivities. It is unclear whether or not Limited Time has indulged in the drink...

Additionally, the fact that Limited Time's venture was completed unsanctioned by The Council may also raise tensions and tails...only time will tell what consequences, if any, await The Skillet.

Limited Time was not approached for comment, as our reporter was too busy trying to figure out where he placed his bottle of Wild Turkey after he snapped this candid photo. When he again directed his attention towards The Skillet, The Skillet had disappeared in the crowd

As of press time, The Council was still puzzling over Limited Time's disappearance. As always, The Headline News will be THE FIRST SOURCE for any updates on this spine-tingling news piece.