TOP STORY: Scandal afoot as Citizen Meow attempts to sway Head Council Member E!

Dangerous liasions appear to be brewing over at The Lair on this seasonable Thursday...we have received reports that Citizen Meow and Head Council Member E was spotted last evening at a local sushi restaurant. The intention of this meeting was not immediately made clear, although based on our sources, it appears to be recreational, and our source notes that a several vats of hot sake were merrily consumed...could Citizen Meow be plotting to win The Council's favor by wining and dining Head Council Member E???

And the plot thickens....Tails were left wagging as Citizen Meow returned to The Lair after the meal, and proceeded to spend the night. Council relations this morning were rather terse, due to the fact that this unexpected visit prevented The Council from engaging in a meeting, which has been continually postponed since early this week. Citizen Meow offered no comment as he briskly left The Lair early this morning.

Our reporters remain staked out at The Lair, and we will follow-up with more details, as they become available.

TOP STORY: Council meeting derailed by bread-baking!

A shocking development in our on-going coverage involving The Council's scheduled meeting last evening...it appears that the meeting was once again postponed, due to Head Council Member E's attempt to bake a loaf of bread. The loaf in question took much longer than originally anticipated, and E was so thoroughly exhausted from her efforts that she retired shortly after the loaf emerged from the oven. Our reporter on the scene managed to cleverly snap the following EXCLUSIVE PHOTO early this morning:

The Culprit! (homemade bread)

The bread in question is a homemade loaf, with sun-dried tomato and asiago and parmesan cheese. Head Council Member E has confirmed plans to eat some of the bread later this evening, when she returns to The Lair.

Our reporter reports that Council Members Baron von Dracula and Lord Dreidel spent most of the evening at rest while waiting for the meeting that never transpired. Baron von Dracula briefly took position perched on the couch, in anticipation of the meeting, but as the night wore on, he retired to his cushion, where he assumed an unusual position, and took a nap. Limited Time Offer Skillet was not seen, and it is assumed that he remains in hiding, presumably in The Culinary Wing of The Lair.

Baron von Dracula waits, in vain...

No Council Members were available for comment, and no statement has been issued as to when the meeting will be rescheduled. It is also uncertain at this time whether or not there will be any bread for Citizen Meow.

TOP STORY: Council meets to schedule their next meeting...

This just in, from The Lair...our associate on the scene confirms that The Council held a secret late night meeting, which concluded at approximately 2:00 am, this morning. The sole purpose of the meeting was the set a day and time for their next meeting, a lengthy one in which they will address a number of looming issues. Unfortunately, The Council was unable to agree as to exactly when this meeting would be held, so they shall meet again tonight, in the hopes of coming to an agreement.

Representative Baron von Dracula issued the following statement:

"The Council recognizes that a formal meeting is long overdue. We hope to come to decision tonight, as to when we will meet, to discuss and argue about several matters that have been on the table, lurking and festering, like a moldy green orange."

We have gotten the inside scoop on a few of the matters that will be broached at this fabled meeting. The Council has yet to decide what punishment awaits Council Member Limited Time Offer Skillet. Head Council Member E has plans to present her proposal regarding the elimination of Mondays from the calendar. The Council also plans to discuss their continued efforts to provide NO ROAST FOR MEOW. This will be especially challenging, as the upcoming Passover festivities are sure to provide more roast than usual, and The Culinary Wing of The Lair will undoubtedly be stocked with roast that Citizen Meow make attempt to stealthily treat himself to, in a moment of weakness and hunger.

The Council has not yet confirmed a time for tonight's meeting, and it's safe to assume that their formal meeting will be scheduled for later this week or early next week. Chances of a weekend meeting are slim, since The Council usually prefers to engage in more leisurely activities on the weekends. However, an emergency weekend/picnic may be declared if no agreement can be reached.

We will keep you posted on this story as it unfolds...

Limited Time Offer Skillet returns to The Lair after extended unauthorized leave!

BREAKING NEWS from The Lair...our reporter reports that Limited Time Offer Skillet has just now returned to The Lair, and all chaos has broken loose, although it appears that no one has noticed his absence up until the moment his attempted to sneak back into Lair Headquarters. There are rumours that Council Member Baron von Dracula has actually moved from his warm cozy spot on the couch in attempt to lunge at LTO. The Skillet has since taken refuge in an undisclosed cabinet of the culinary wing of The Lair, and he offered no comment concerning his disappearance. In order to demonstrate his dismay, Baron von Dracula proceeded to toss some sundry items around The Lair, such as magazines, boxes, papers and shoes. This was done to demonstrate to Head Council Member E that there is general discontentment in the lair, and it has been deemed by The Baron that this drastic act serves as the quickest method of communicating the general discontentment to the Head Council Member, since chances are high that both Baron von Dracula and Lord Dreidel will be napping when Head Council Member E returns to The Lair later this evening. Citizen Meow may be called upon to clean up the mess, once its greater purpose has been accomplished.

The Baron has also summoned Lord Dreidel for an inpromptu meeting concerning the matter, and as of press time, they have yet to emerge from their chambers, which would indicate that they are still discussing the matter at paw. We are currently awaiting a formal statement, from The Council, and a formal meeting has been set for later tonight, where all Council Members will deliberate the fate of Limited Time Offer Skillet.

Hungover Council has yet to notice missing member...

The tension is building as Council Members Lord Dreidel and Baron von Dracula have yet to notice that Limited Time Offer Skillet (informally known as LTO) has escaped from the culinary wing of The Lair. LTO was last seen partying in the streets with some unidentified revelers. He has not returned to The Lair as of press time.

We have confirmed reports that The Lord and The Baron, as well as Head Council Member E have decided that all Council Matters will be tabled for today, and The Council shall resume activity tomorrow. All parties, in addition to most of our own staff, remain slightly hungover from Wednesday's festivities.

HOT OFF THE PRESSES!! Tensions soar as The Council debates the fate of Citizen Meow...

An explosive follow-up to our coverage of yesterday's report, regarding The Council's secret meeting to potentially ban Citizen Meow from The Lair...The Council was apparently in talks until 4am this morning, regarding the issue of how to handle Citizen Meow's alledged betrayal of Lair Policy.

Head Council Member E arrived at The Lair last evening, at approximately 7:32pm. Prior to the meeting, she took some time to make some experimental tasty treats, among them a salad with honey lime dressing, candied ginger and walnuts, and a lemon potato salad with pickles and capers. The Council began its meeting shortly before 11:00pm. While the specific details of Citizen Meow's betrayal remain vague, it is clear that his actions will have severe consequences, for all Lair Dwellers and Council Members alike.

Our reporter on the scene was not permitted to observe The Council's secret meeting, as is the custom for The Council to meet in complete seclusion. However, it appears that The Council Members are completely divided as to what action should be taken. Baron von Dracula suggested that Citizen Meow be tarred and feathered in a public forum, as punishment for his actions, and to demonstrate to the other Lair Dwellers that The Council "means business" when it comes to Lair Policy.

"Limited Time Offer" Skillet was in favor of permenantly banning Citizen Meow from The Lair until further notice. Head Council Member E attempted to defend Citizen Meow, which lead to heated debate among all Council Members, except for Lord Dreidel, who spent most of the meeting pondering the issues while snacking (which is his usual position.)

The Council reached no conclusions, and will reconvene shortly to discuss the matter further. However, Council Members did agree that Citizen Meow is to be banned from The Lair until a decision is reached.

The formerly pressing issue of The Pink Flamingo Slipper's bold petition to join the ranks of the esteemed Council has been tabled until the issue of Citizen Meow has been resolved.

We will continue to provide EXCLUSIVE updates on this spine-tingling piece, as they become available.