We have just received a BREAKING NEWS REPORT from our deep-cover reporter on the scene at Lair 5-I...it appears that an unidentified pink flamingo slipper has just attempted to petition The Council for membership!
Our reporter provided the following candid photo, which shows the pink flamingo slipper in talks with Baron von Dracula:
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The Council was completed unprepared for this unexpected appeal, and was unable to respond to the flamingo slippers petition at the time. Lord Dreidel was apparently taking a catnap, and Head Council Member E was not even on the premises. However, Baron von Dracula was manning his post when the Flamingo Slipper approached, and he plans to bring the matter to a Council Meeting for further discussion. The Council tentatively plans to meet early next week.
As for The Flamingo Slipper, little is known about him at this point, and he was unavailable for comment immediately following his imprompt meeting with Council Member Baron von Dracula. He is a fairly recent resident of Lair 5-I, and is known for being rather quiet and unobtrusive, despite his seemingly garish appearance. He allegedly also has a twin, who did not join him in making the appeal to The Baron. Rumours suggest that this twin could potentially be of the "evil" variation. The Council will most likely launch a full investigation and background check on The Flamingo Slipper and his associates before reaching any sort of decision. The Council, which currently stands as an exclusive and omniscent group of 4, has never before been faced with such a sudden and unprecedented request. Although known for their generally vague and elusive nature, we are currently compiling an FAQ about The Council, as part of an upcoming expose report (just please promise NOT TO TELL THEM, lest they attempt to tighten Lair security. Thanks.)
We will continue to update you on this swiftly developing story, as the details unfold...
I appreciate the News' interest in exposing this 'scandal.' We must ask ourselves, with this many governors, who will govern the governors? Should this petition be granted by the Council, the total ratio of council members to the population of 5-I would rise to 5:3. There is already one more council member than residents in the community! And what do we really know about this flamingo slipper anyway? He's a resident for two months, and already he wants a legislative position!?
ReplyDeleteI dread to think what the threat of more motions, filibusters and bureaucratic red tape will have for Citizen Meow, whose modest proposals are often at the mercy of the Council. Enough is enough! We must stand up for our beliefs and values, lest they become overrun with corrupt officials!
-An interested party