This just in from The Lair...it appears that a container of dried dill, that had resided within the spice cabinet of the culinary wing of The Lair, turned out to be expired, by over a year. The dill apparently expired sometime in February of 2009, yet has been used at The Lair as recently as yesterday...this may explain some of the mysterious cold-like symptoms that have been plaguing several Council Members over the past few days.
The Council is scheduled to meet shortly, to decide what should be done about the matter.
The Dill remains in seclusion, in a corner of the kitchen table. We will continues to provide up-to-minute coverage, as this story unfolds...(unless something happens over the weekend, in which case you will not hear about anything until Monday.)
Friday, March 5, 2010
TOP STORY: Coffee purchased from random coffee cart proves itself to be utterly undrinkable...
A large coffee purchased just moments ago by Esther, as she scurried to her office, turns out to taste completely dreadful. Upon arrival at her office, she took one sip, and decided that it would be impossible to venture any further into the beverage. The coffee tasted foul and stale, and our reporter on the scene claims that there were "no words for the look of despair and disappointment that crossed her face."
This development comes on the heels of a hectic morning. Our reporter on the scene at The Lair reports that she woke up at the exact time she is slated to leave for work, and hurried to get ready in a such a swift fashion that there was no time to brew some coffee at home or even to purchase one on the way to the subway, which is her usual custom. Now that the coffee has been deemed undrinkable, she is uncertain what to do, and is disdainfully sipping at a bottle of room-temperature water, while the doomed coffee lurks ominously to the left of her keyboard.
The coffee declined to comment.
This development comes on the heels of a hectic morning. Our reporter on the scene at The Lair reports that she woke up at the exact time she is slated to leave for work, and hurried to get ready in a such a swift fashion that there was no time to brew some coffee at home or even to purchase one on the way to the subway, which is her usual custom. Now that the coffee has been deemed undrinkable, she is uncertain what to do, and is disdainfully sipping at a bottle of room-temperature water, while the doomed coffee lurks ominously to the left of her keyboard.
The coffee declined to comment.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
TOP STORY: Flaky superintendent spotted on the street and summoned to repair water-damaged ceiling...
....but will he heed the call?
It was shortly after 9am this morning that Head Council Member E spotted the super lurking outside the building (location of which must remain super top-secret). He was in the company of an unidentified male, and drinking some coffee while simultaneously munching on a breakfast pastry. After pleasantries were exchanged, the topic of the ceiling came up. He claimed he would come by this weekend to fix the damage. A likely story, as that claim has been made on numerous occasions, with the Super turning into a "super" flake at the last minute. Unfortunately, prior committments prevent E from summoning him The Lair today or tomorrow, and to be honest, it is unlikely he will heed the call this weekend, as he is known for his elusive nature when it comes to these matters. The Council, at large, remains at rest, and did not issue any statements regarding this situation.
We will closely follow this story with the intensely of a hawk stalking its prey, and we urge our readers to weigh in on the matter with their thoughts and opinions.
It was shortly after 9am this morning that Head Council Member E spotted the super lurking outside the building (location of which must remain super top-secret). He was in the company of an unidentified male, and drinking some coffee while simultaneously munching on a breakfast pastry. After pleasantries were exchanged, the topic of the ceiling came up. He claimed he would come by this weekend to fix the damage. A likely story, as that claim has been made on numerous occasions, with the Super turning into a "super" flake at the last minute. Unfortunately, prior committments prevent E from summoning him The Lair today or tomorrow, and to be honest, it is unlikely he will heed the call this weekend, as he is known for his elusive nature when it comes to these matters. The Council, at large, remains at rest, and did not issue any statements regarding this situation.
We will closely follow this story with the intensely of a hawk stalking its prey, and we urge our readers to weigh in on the matter with their thoughts and opinions.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
BREAKING NEWS: Esther brazenly smokes in front of a "NO SMOKING" sign...
Esther was spotted a short while ago, brazenly smoking directly in front of a "no smoking" sign, located in the freight entrance of the building where she works. Our reporter on the scene in the area snapped the following EXCLUSIVE PHOTO, which features Esther coyly posing for the photographer, which a rare move for the lady who usually dodges the paparazzi, by any means necessary.
EXCLUSIVE PHOTO: No smoking? Really?
Esther declined to comment, although she seemed highly amused by the irony of the situation. The consequences of smoking in a prohibited zone have not immediately made themselves known.
TOP STORY: "Amazing" Roast prepared at The Lair...
It appears that Head Council Member E was burning the midnight oil last night, at The Lair. Her experimental efforts towards a London broil resulted in an incredibly amazing dish, as the meat was braised in a BBQ-twinged sauce, along with baby carrots. Uncertain as to how the dish would come out, she extremely pleased with the end result, although it was unfortunately too late in the night to call anyone and share her excitement. Fellow Council Member Limited Time Offer Skillet played an intregal role in the roasts' preparation, although Lord Dreidel and Baron von Dracula spent most of the evening continuing their rest (see yesterday's top story for more details on that.)
Head Council Member E issued the following statement:
"It came out great. Spectacular. Sublime! The meat is so tender, you can cut it with the edge of a fork. The sauce, so juicy and tangy. And it was so easy to make! I am quite pleased. Indeed."
E plans to keep the recipe top-secret for the time being, although it was the first recipe to grace her fancy new recipe binder. Plans are in the works to prepare a brisket version of the roast for the upcoming Passover holiday feast, and she also brought some along with her today for lunch, which she plans to eat with some white rice, to be purchased from a local Chinese or Thai establishment. In fact, she was spotted by one of our reporters earlier this morning, walking through the rain with an extra spring in her step, and it believed that her enthusiasm stems from anticipation of her homemade lunch. Plans to offer some of the roast to Citizen Meow have been called off, as she would prefer to keep it all to herself. Citizen Meow was unavailable for comment on the matter.
Head Council Member E issued the following statement:
"It came out great. Spectacular. Sublime! The meat is so tender, you can cut it with the edge of a fork. The sauce, so juicy and tangy. And it was so easy to make! I am quite pleased. Indeed."
E plans to keep the recipe top-secret for the time being, although it was the first recipe to grace her fancy new recipe binder. Plans are in the works to prepare a brisket version of the roast for the upcoming Passover holiday feast, and she also brought some along with her today for lunch, which she plans to eat with some white rice, to be purchased from a local Chinese or Thai establishment. In fact, she was spotted by one of our reporters earlier this morning, walking through the rain with an extra spring in her step, and it believed that her enthusiasm stems from anticipation of her homemade lunch. Plans to offer some of the roast to Citizen Meow have been called off, as she would prefer to keep it all to herself. Citizen Meow was unavailable for comment on the matter.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
TOP STORY: Council declares "day of rest"
Breaking news from The Lair...It appears that The Council is completely exhausting from its endless meetings, as well as top secret deliberations, involving Citizen Meow, The Pink Flamingo Slipper, and other pressing issues. They have declared a day of rest, that all Council Members are participating in, except for Head Council Member E, who must go to work, in order to support The Council, and maintain The Lair. Our reporter on the scene just sent us this EXCLUSIVE PHOTO of Baron von Dracula:
Baron von Dracula resting at The Lair
No Council members were willing to comment further. At press time, Baron von Dracula remained resting on the pink velvet couch, while Lord Dreidel was perched atop the television. Limited Time Offer Skillet was at rest in his top secret hide-out. No statement was issued as to when The Council plans to resume activity.
Monday, March 1, 2010
EMERGING REPORT: Esther wants an herb garden!
Just moments ago, Esther has decided that she wants an herb garden, to continue her culinary adventures through the spring and into the summer season. She has plans to convince some fellow Council Members to join her in her efforts to set up the garden, however she is skeptical of their participation, and she fears she may have to go it alone. She offered the following comment:
"Some fresh basil would be a nice addition to my famous pasta sauce...and perhaps some mint. And chives! For dipping sauces!!"
We will follow this intensely intriguing story as it unfolds.
"Some fresh basil would be a nice addition to my famous pasta sauce...and perhaps some mint. And chives! For dipping sauces!!"
We will follow this intensely intriguing story as it unfolds.
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