BREAKING NEWS: Citizen Meow's probation to be overruled??

Reports have come in that Head Council Member E is in talks to issue a petition to overrule Citizen Meow's probation, due in large part to his impressive contribution to the birthday festivities that took place this past weekend.

For those who have not been following this saga, feel free to peruse our archives, as it is a tale that is sure to keep you on the edge of your seat (if you are sitting in one, that is...). After extensively heated discussions regarding Citizen Meow's loyalty and strength of character, The Council finally decided to allow Citizen Meow to lurk within The Lair under probationary status, although certain members of The Council, who shall not be named, voted to ban him from The Lair, forevermore. This controversy stemmed from a supposed theft, the details of which remain murky and vague. Although relations have been pleasant for the past few weeks, there are reports that Limited Time Offer Skillet has just recently reminded his fellow Council Members Lord Dreidel and Baron von Dracula that he is keeping his supply of feathers and tar handy "just in case of any missteps." Our reporters seem to agree that the tension between Limited Time and Citizen Meow has been rather long-standing, although nobody seems to know exactly where these tensions stem from.

An unconfirmed report indicates that Head Council Member E has plans to approach The Council this evening, with the hopes of convincing them to formal lift the probation placed upon Citizen Meow. Hopefully, her plans to take a nap will not delay this meeting. We will follow up with a full report tomorrow morning.

TOP STORY: Birthday preparations afoot...

It's that time of year again...this Sunday marks Head Council Member E's birthday, and The Council is preparing for the festvities as we speak. An entire weekend of fun and excitement is planned, and even Citizen Meow has a few surprises up his sleeve (or so we have heard...)

Our reporters have managed to piece together the following intel, as of press time:

Tonight: Lobster dinner in Chelsea, with a possible visit to Trailer Park, an old-time favorite of E's, which she has not been to "in ages."

Saturday: Plans are unknown, although there are reports of a celebratory dinner in store for E.

Sunday: Birthday brunch, lots of mimosas, and an abundance of...PRESENTS!! We hope...

The Council is standing by, to greet E as soon as she gets home tonight with snuggles and purrs.

Is it unknown how old E will be turning, but if you haven't seen her lately, rest assured that she doesn't look a day older than 22.

We will provide a complete follow-up report on Monday.

Happy Birthday E!

Love, The Headline News