An explosive follow-up to our coverage of yesterday's report, regarding The Council's secret meeting to potentially ban Citizen Meow from The Lair...The Council was apparently in talks until 4am this morning, regarding the issue of how to handle Citizen Meow's alledged betrayal of Lair Policy.
Head Council Member E arrived at The Lair last evening, at approximately 7:32pm. Prior to the meeting, she took some time to make some experimental tasty treats, among them a salad with honey lime dressing, candied ginger and walnuts, and a lemon potato salad with pickles and capers. The Council began its meeting shortly before 11:00pm. While the specific details of Citizen Meow's betrayal remain vague, it is clear that his actions will have severe consequences, for all Lair Dwellers and Council Members alike.
Our reporter on the scene was not permitted to observe The Council's secret meeting, as is the custom for The Council to meet in complete seclusion. However, it appears that The Council Members are completely divided as to what action should be taken. Baron von Dracula suggested that Citizen Meow be tarred and feathered in a public forum, as punishment for his actions, and to demonstrate to the other Lair Dwellers that The Council "means business" when it comes to Lair Policy.
"Limited Time Offer" Skillet was in favor of permenantly banning Citizen Meow from The Lair until further notice. Head Council Member E attempted to defend Citizen Meow, which lead to heated debate among all Council Members, except for Lord Dreidel, who spent most of the meeting pondering the issues while snacking (which is his usual position.)
The Council reached no conclusions, and will reconvene shortly to discuss the matter further. However, Council Members did agree that Citizen Meow is to be banned from The Lair until a decision is reached.
The formerly pressing issue of The Pink Flamingo Slipper's bold petition to join the ranks of the esteemed Council has been tabled until the issue of Citizen Meow has been resolved.
We will continue to provide EXCLUSIVE updates on this spine-tingling piece, as they become available.
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If the Council will allow, I would like to submit a brief statement in my defense:
ReplyDeleteEsteemed Members of the Council of Lair 5-I: For over a year, you have been my family. I have counted each and every one of you as good friends and Lair 5-I as my second home. Though I have yet to be charged with a formal violation, though I have an inkling of its character, it pains me deeply that the Council deems necessary to take such actions.
I felt that I have been a valuable asset to the Council. I have provided meal, drink and comfort to most Members at various times and have shown my appreciation for their friendship with other gifts as well. I feel that in the heat of the moment, the Council is neglecting the mutually beneficial diplomacy that we have developed. I would be lying to say that I am not hurt by these deliberations.
Should the Council see fit to censure me for my actions, I only ask that the punishment fit the crime. Please do not ban me from Lair 5-I -- it is one of my few loves of life.
Respectfully,
Meow