HOT OFF THE PRESSES!! Tensions soar as The Council debates the fate of Citizen Meow...

An explosive follow-up to our coverage of yesterday's report, regarding The Council's secret meeting to potentially ban Citizen Meow from The Lair...The Council was apparently in talks until 4am this morning, regarding the issue of how to handle Citizen Meow's alledged betrayal of Lair Policy.

Head Council Member E arrived at The Lair last evening, at approximately 7:32pm. Prior to the meeting, she took some time to make some experimental tasty treats, among them a salad with honey lime dressing, candied ginger and walnuts, and a lemon potato salad with pickles and capers. The Council began its meeting shortly before 11:00pm. While the specific details of Citizen Meow's betrayal remain vague, it is clear that his actions will have severe consequences, for all Lair Dwellers and Council Members alike.

Our reporter on the scene was not permitted to observe The Council's secret meeting, as is the custom for The Council to meet in complete seclusion. However, it appears that The Council Members are completely divided as to what action should be taken. Baron von Dracula suggested that Citizen Meow be tarred and feathered in a public forum, as punishment for his actions, and to demonstrate to the other Lair Dwellers that The Council "means business" when it comes to Lair Policy.

"Limited Time Offer" Skillet was in favor of permenantly banning Citizen Meow from The Lair until further notice. Head Council Member E attempted to defend Citizen Meow, which lead to heated debate among all Council Members, except for Lord Dreidel, who spent most of the meeting pondering the issues while snacking (which is his usual position.)

The Council reached no conclusions, and will reconvene shortly to discuss the matter further. However, Council Members did agree that Citizen Meow is to be banned from The Lair until a decision is reached.

The formerly pressing issue of The Pink Flamingo Slipper's bold petition to join the ranks of the esteemed Council has been tabled until the issue of Citizen Meow has been resolved.

We will continue to provide EXCLUSIVE updates on this spine-tingling piece, as they become available.

BREAKING NEWS: Citizen Meow on Probation!

Citizen Meow - File photo (THN)

Emerging reports from Lair 5-I are coming into THN headquarters, and it appears The Council is in talks, regarding one "Citizen Meow." Due to an apparent theft at The Lair, The Council may vote to put him on probationary status. Head Council Member E was not present at the informal meeting that transpired just moments ago, but the other three Council Members are planning to present their evidence to her later on this evening. Specific details regarding what exactly happened with Citizen Meow have not yet been released, but it is known that Citizen Meow is a frequent visitor to The Lair, and has a history of civil, even friendly relations with The Council, in general. However, it is uncertain as to what this new development may lead to, in regards to future relations between Citizen Meow and The Council, at large.

We will provide continuing coverage of this breaking story, as details become available.

BREAKING NEWS: Thai for lunch!

Our reporter staked in Midtown West spotted Esther picking up her lunch for Royal Thai 2 on West 36th Street, just moments ago. She was wearing her sparkly green hat, and carrying a large, cumbersome-looking umbrella of unknown origin.

Esther apparently order a lunch special, "Kwaytio Kee Mao" (F-5 on the menu), which she had never ordered before, and which was also marked on the menu with an ominous chili pepper, indicating a degree of spiciness. When questioned by our reporter, Esther offered the following remark:

"Though I usually go for some spring rolls, or pad thai, or coconut soup, I was feeling a little adventurous today, and decided to try something different."

It would be worthwhile to note that she did request the dish to be prepared as mildly as possible. Royal Thai 2 is known as the leader of the pack in the fried-ice-cream department, in addition to being Esther's favorite local Thai haunt.

On her way back to the office, Esther narrowly escaped injury when she slipped on the sidewalk, while walking beneath a scaffolding. Howeverm she managed to amazingly regain her balance, and she did not fall. Our reporter was impressed, noting her cat-like reflexes.

Lazy Rainy Tuesday for Council Members...

Breaking news from Lair 5-I...It appears that Council Members "Lord" Dreidel and "Baron von" Dracula have stirred from their slumber, and are starting their day in a most leisurely manner. Our reporter on the scene forwarded us the following exclusive photos:

Baron von Dracula manning his "post."

Lord Dreidel caught in the act of snacking.

The whereabouts of Council Member "Limited Time Offer" Skillet were unclear at the press time. Although Head Council Member E was not present, and will not return to The Lair until sometime later this evening, there were murmurings of an impromptu meeting, scheduled to take place sometime this afternoon. The purpose of this meeting is not immediately clear, and no Council Members were available for comment.

Our reporter is on the scene, and THN will provide exhaustive continuing coverage on this pressing matter.

EMERGING REPORT: Esther is cold!

It appears that IGS Headquarters is chillier than usual, as Esther has been spotted wearing her coat in the office. In an unrelated incident, Natia, the building manager, was summoned to the ground floor freight area, due to a leak spotted by a pair of rogue Fedex working who were wandering around the building. Details to follow as they become available.

BREAKING NEWS: Breakfast pastry proves "disappointing"

Reports are streaming into THN headquarters, regarding Esther's recent encounter with an almond croissant. Our reporter on the scene confirmed that Esther was "deeply disappointed" by the croissant, which was purchased from her beloved coffee cart, on the corner of 8th Avenue and 39th Street in Manhattan. She went on to say that the croissant in question had "an odd, funny taste," but despite its flaws, she ate it anyway. To distract herself from the deep disappointment of her breakfast pastry, which is a rare treat for Esther, whose usual breakfast consists of a coffee and a few cigarettes, Esther has been looking up recipes for Olive Oil cake online, since she got to the office. She plans to commence actual work shortly.

The croissant itself was unavailable for comment.

TOP STORY...

It's Monday.
Again.
Meep.