At press time, it appears that all blue and brown M&Ms have been eaten, and the 8 remaining M&Ms include 2 red, 2 orange, 2 yellow and 2 green. Actually, make that 1 green.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Emerging Report: M&Ms arranged according to color on Esther's desk!
This just in, from IGS Headquarters...it appears that a bushel of Dark Chocolate M&Ms that were unexpectedly delivered to Esther's desk by a colleague have been meticulously arranged and color-coded, to correspond with the colors of the rainbow (in general), before being consumed by Esther. Our beat reporter snapped this EXCLUSIVE PHOTO:
BREAKING NEWS: Citizen Meow accepts "The Call" as Council Prepares...
It appears that Citizen Meow has accepted The Council's call to appear before them and residents of The Lair in a public forum to commence on Friday evening. The Council has begun top secret preparations for the meeting.
In response to Citizen Meow's request, The Council also agreed not to rename him "Citizen Chicken" and according to several reports, both Lord Dreidel and Baron von Dracula take no responsibility for the derogatory moniker, and point tails towards Limited Time Offer Skillet.
The Skillet was unavailable for comment.
In response to Citizen Meow's request, The Council also agreed not to rename him "Citizen Chicken" and according to several reports, both Lord Dreidel and Baron von Dracula take no responsibility for the derogatory moniker, and point tails towards Limited Time Offer Skillet.
The Skillet was unavailable for comment.
BREAKING NEWS: Council Issues Follow-up Statement!
The Council has just issued a follow-up statement, directed towards Citizen Meow. Our reporter on the scene at The Lair has vowed to The Council that he would communicate the message exactly as it was issued, word for word, in the hopes that Citizen Meow, who is rumored to be a regular reader of THN, will respond to their earlier call.
Here is the statement:
"Bawk bawk bawk. BAWK."
The Council Members had no additional comments.
Here is the statement:
"Bawk bawk bawk. BAWK."
The Council Members had no additional comments.
UPDATE: Citizen Meow to be renamed Citizen Chicken?
It appears that Citizen Meow has yet to issued a response statement to The Council's call. Has he fled, in fear and shame? Is a renaming of "Citizen Chicken" in order? The suspense builds on this snowy, slushy Wednesday...
TOP STORY: Council Meeting Postponed: Council Members rebel and "call out" Citizen Meow!
This just in from The Lair - it appears that last night's meeting, involving "Citizen Meow" was postponed by Head Council Member E. However, in a rebellious turn, Council Members Baron von Dracula, Lord Dreidel and Limited Time Offer Skillet have issued a public statement, just moments ago, calling Citizen Meow to The Lair tomorrow evening, to defend his actions in a public forum.
It appears that The Council Members purposely waited until Head Council Member E had left Lair premises in order to issue their statement. Coincidentally, E had invited Citizen Meow to The Lair earlier in the week, for a celebratory feast. However, since Meow had been temporarily banned from The Lair, Head Council Member E was concerned that keeping the date would cause chaos, and a possible mutiny, among the other Council Members. Although she was reluctant to cancel the feast, she also had mixed feelings about defying her fellow Council Members. Conveniently, this meeting, scheduled for Friday evening, should Citizen Meow choose to respond to "the call", will allow C.M. to present his case to The Council, face to face, while also allowing him to partake in the scheduled feast with Head Council Member E.
The question now remains...will Citizen Meow respond to "The Call?"
Stay tuned, dear readers...
It appears that The Council Members purposely waited until Head Council Member E had left Lair premises in order to issue their statement. Coincidentally, E had invited Citizen Meow to The Lair earlier in the week, for a celebratory feast. However, since Meow had been temporarily banned from The Lair, Head Council Member E was concerned that keeping the date would cause chaos, and a possible mutiny, among the other Council Members. Although she was reluctant to cancel the feast, she also had mixed feelings about defying her fellow Council Members. Conveniently, this meeting, scheduled for Friday evening, should Citizen Meow choose to respond to "the call", will allow C.M. to present his case to The Council, face to face, while also allowing him to partake in the scheduled feast with Head Council Member E.
The question now remains...will Citizen Meow respond to "The Call?"
Stay tuned, dear readers...
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Citizen Meow appeals to The Council through comments left on THN!
In a surprising twist of events, Citizen Meow himself has appealed directly to The Council, via a "blog" comment left in reference to our earlier news piece. His compelling and heart-felt plea brought tears to eyes of many of our readers, and has prompted Head Council Member E to take action on his behalf. She is formulating a plan to bring him back into the good graces of her fellow Council Members, although details of this plan are still in the works.
No word yet as to how Council Members Lord Dreidel, Baron von Dracula and Limited Time Offer Skillet, back at The Lair, have responded to Citizen Meow's plea. We are expecting The Council to issue a formal statement by day's end.
Additionally, it is unclear whether Citizen Meow is a genuine follower of The Headline News, or if he is just cleverly making use of our comments section as a platform to present his case to the general public, while simultanously addressing The Council from a safe and remote location.
We can file that under "Things that make you go hmmm...."
We will continue to investigate this matter as this titillating story unfolds.
No word yet as to how Council Members Lord Dreidel, Baron von Dracula and Limited Time Offer Skillet, back at The Lair, have responded to Citizen Meow's plea. We are expecting The Council to issue a formal statement by day's end.
Additionally, it is unclear whether Citizen Meow is a genuine follower of The Headline News, or if he is just cleverly making use of our comments section as a platform to present his case to the general public, while simultanously addressing The Council from a safe and remote location.
We can file that under "Things that make you go hmmm...."
We will continue to investigate this matter as this titillating story unfolds.
HOT OFF THE PRESSES!! Tensions soar as The Council debates the fate of Citizen Meow...
An explosive follow-up to our coverage of yesterday's report, regarding The Council's secret meeting to potentially ban Citizen Meow from The Lair...The Council was apparently in talks until 4am this morning, regarding the issue of how to handle Citizen Meow's alledged betrayal of Lair Policy.
Head Council Member E arrived at The Lair last evening, at approximately 7:32pm. Prior to the meeting, she took some time to make some experimental tasty treats, among them a salad with honey lime dressing, candied ginger and walnuts, and a lemon potato salad with pickles and capers. The Council began its meeting shortly before 11:00pm. While the specific details of Citizen Meow's betrayal remain vague, it is clear that his actions will have severe consequences, for all Lair Dwellers and Council Members alike.
Our reporter on the scene was not permitted to observe The Council's secret meeting, as is the custom for The Council to meet in complete seclusion. However, it appears that The Council Members are completely divided as to what action should be taken. Baron von Dracula suggested that Citizen Meow be tarred and feathered in a public forum, as punishment for his actions, and to demonstrate to the other Lair Dwellers that The Council "means business" when it comes to Lair Policy.
"Limited Time Offer" Skillet was in favor of permenantly banning Citizen Meow from The Lair until further notice. Head Council Member E attempted to defend Citizen Meow, which lead to heated debate among all Council Members, except for Lord Dreidel, who spent most of the meeting pondering the issues while snacking (which is his usual position.)
The Council reached no conclusions, and will reconvene shortly to discuss the matter further. However, Council Members did agree that Citizen Meow is to be banned from The Lair until a decision is reached.
The formerly pressing issue of The Pink Flamingo Slipper's bold petition to join the ranks of the esteemed Council has been tabled until the issue of Citizen Meow has been resolved.
We will continue to provide EXCLUSIVE updates on this spine-tingling piece, as they become available.
Head Council Member E arrived at The Lair last evening, at approximately 7:32pm. Prior to the meeting, she took some time to make some experimental tasty treats, among them a salad with honey lime dressing, candied ginger and walnuts, and a lemon potato salad with pickles and capers. The Council began its meeting shortly before 11:00pm. While the specific details of Citizen Meow's betrayal remain vague, it is clear that his actions will have severe consequences, for all Lair Dwellers and Council Members alike.
Our reporter on the scene was not permitted to observe The Council's secret meeting, as is the custom for The Council to meet in complete seclusion. However, it appears that The Council Members are completely divided as to what action should be taken. Baron von Dracula suggested that Citizen Meow be tarred and feathered in a public forum, as punishment for his actions, and to demonstrate to the other Lair Dwellers that The Council "means business" when it comes to Lair Policy.
"Limited Time Offer" Skillet was in favor of permenantly banning Citizen Meow from The Lair until further notice. Head Council Member E attempted to defend Citizen Meow, which lead to heated debate among all Council Members, except for Lord Dreidel, who spent most of the meeting pondering the issues while snacking (which is his usual position.)
The Council reached no conclusions, and will reconvene shortly to discuss the matter further. However, Council Members did agree that Citizen Meow is to be banned from The Lair until a decision is reached.
The formerly pressing issue of The Pink Flamingo Slipper's bold petition to join the ranks of the esteemed Council has been tabled until the issue of Citizen Meow has been resolved.
We will continue to provide EXCLUSIVE updates on this spine-tingling piece, as they become available.
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