UPDATE: Citizen Meow to be renamed Citizen Chicken?

It appears that Citizen Meow has yet to issued a response statement to The Council's call. Has he fled, in fear and shame? Is a renaming of "Citizen Chicken" in order? The suspense builds on this snowy, slushy Wednesday...

TOP STORY: Council Meeting Postponed: Council Members rebel and "call out" Citizen Meow!

This just in from The Lair - it appears that last night's meeting, involving "Citizen Meow" was postponed by Head Council Member E. However, in a rebellious turn, Council Members Baron von Dracula, Lord Dreidel and Limited Time Offer Skillet have issued a public statement, just moments ago, calling Citizen Meow to The Lair tomorrow evening, to defend his actions in a public forum.

It appears that The Council Members purposely waited until Head Council Member E had left Lair premises in order to issue their statement. Coincidentally, E had invited Citizen Meow to The Lair earlier in the week, for a celebratory feast. However, since Meow had been temporarily banned from The Lair, Head Council Member E was concerned that keeping the date would cause chaos, and a possible mutiny, among the other Council Members. Although she was reluctant to cancel the feast, she also had mixed feelings about defying her fellow Council Members. Conveniently, this meeting, scheduled for Friday evening, should Citizen Meow choose to respond to "the call", will allow C.M. to present his case to The Council, face to face, while also allowing him to partake in the scheduled feast with Head Council Member E.

The question now remains...will Citizen Meow respond to "The Call?"

Stay tuned, dear readers...

Citizen Meow appeals to The Council through comments left on THN!

In a surprising twist of events, Citizen Meow himself has appealed directly to The Council, via a "blog" comment left in reference to our earlier news piece. His compelling and heart-felt plea brought tears to eyes of many of our readers, and has prompted Head Council Member E to take action on his behalf. She is formulating a plan to bring him back into the good graces of her fellow Council Members, although details of this plan are still in the works.

No word yet as to how Council Members Lord Dreidel, Baron von Dracula and Limited Time Offer Skillet, back at The Lair, have responded to Citizen Meow's plea. We are expecting The Council to issue a formal statement by day's end.

Additionally, it is unclear whether Citizen Meow is a genuine follower of The Headline News, or if he is just cleverly making use of our comments section as a platform to present his case to the general public, while simultanously addressing The Council from a safe and remote location.

We can file that under "Things that make you go hmmm...."

We will continue to investigate this matter as this titillating story unfolds.

HOT OFF THE PRESSES!! Tensions soar as The Council debates the fate of Citizen Meow...

An explosive follow-up to our coverage of yesterday's report, regarding The Council's secret meeting to potentially ban Citizen Meow from The Lair...The Council was apparently in talks until 4am this morning, regarding the issue of how to handle Citizen Meow's alledged betrayal of Lair Policy.

Head Council Member E arrived at The Lair last evening, at approximately 7:32pm. Prior to the meeting, she took some time to make some experimental tasty treats, among them a salad with honey lime dressing, candied ginger and walnuts, and a lemon potato salad with pickles and capers. The Council began its meeting shortly before 11:00pm. While the specific details of Citizen Meow's betrayal remain vague, it is clear that his actions will have severe consequences, for all Lair Dwellers and Council Members alike.

Our reporter on the scene was not permitted to observe The Council's secret meeting, as is the custom for The Council to meet in complete seclusion. However, it appears that The Council Members are completely divided as to what action should be taken. Baron von Dracula suggested that Citizen Meow be tarred and feathered in a public forum, as punishment for his actions, and to demonstrate to the other Lair Dwellers that The Council "means business" when it comes to Lair Policy.

"Limited Time Offer" Skillet was in favor of permenantly banning Citizen Meow from The Lair until further notice. Head Council Member E attempted to defend Citizen Meow, which lead to heated debate among all Council Members, except for Lord Dreidel, who spent most of the meeting pondering the issues while snacking (which is his usual position.)

The Council reached no conclusions, and will reconvene shortly to discuss the matter further. However, Council Members did agree that Citizen Meow is to be banned from The Lair until a decision is reached.

The formerly pressing issue of The Pink Flamingo Slipper's bold petition to join the ranks of the esteemed Council has been tabled until the issue of Citizen Meow has been resolved.

We will continue to provide EXCLUSIVE updates on this spine-tingling piece, as they become available.

BREAKING NEWS: Citizen Meow on Probation!

Citizen Meow - File photo (THN)

Emerging reports from Lair 5-I are coming into THN headquarters, and it appears The Council is in talks, regarding one "Citizen Meow." Due to an apparent theft at The Lair, The Council may vote to put him on probationary status. Head Council Member E was not present at the informal meeting that transpired just moments ago, but the other three Council Members are planning to present their evidence to her later on this evening. Specific details regarding what exactly happened with Citizen Meow have not yet been released, but it is known that Citizen Meow is a frequent visitor to The Lair, and has a history of civil, even friendly relations with The Council, in general. However, it is uncertain as to what this new development may lead to, in regards to future relations between Citizen Meow and The Council, at large.

We will provide continuing coverage of this breaking story, as details become available.

BREAKING NEWS: Thai for lunch!

Our reporter staked in Midtown West spotted Esther picking up her lunch for Royal Thai 2 on West 36th Street, just moments ago. She was wearing her sparkly green hat, and carrying a large, cumbersome-looking umbrella of unknown origin.

Esther apparently order a lunch special, "Kwaytio Kee Mao" (F-5 on the menu), which she had never ordered before, and which was also marked on the menu with an ominous chili pepper, indicating a degree of spiciness. When questioned by our reporter, Esther offered the following remark:

"Though I usually go for some spring rolls, or pad thai, or coconut soup, I was feeling a little adventurous today, and decided to try something different."

It would be worthwhile to note that she did request the dish to be prepared as mildly as possible. Royal Thai 2 is known as the leader of the pack in the fried-ice-cream department, in addition to being Esther's favorite local Thai haunt.

On her way back to the office, Esther narrowly escaped injury when she slipped on the sidewalk, while walking beneath a scaffolding. Howeverm she managed to amazingly regain her balance, and she did not fall. Our reporter was impressed, noting her cat-like reflexes.

Lazy Rainy Tuesday for Council Members...

Breaking news from Lair 5-I...It appears that Council Members "Lord" Dreidel and "Baron von" Dracula have stirred from their slumber, and are starting their day in a most leisurely manner. Our reporter on the scene forwarded us the following exclusive photos:

Baron von Dracula manning his "post."

Lord Dreidel caught in the act of snacking.

The whereabouts of Council Member "Limited Time Offer" Skillet were unclear at the press time. Although Head Council Member E was not present, and will not return to The Lair until sometime later this evening, there were murmurings of an impromptu meeting, scheduled to take place sometime this afternoon. The purpose of this meeting is not immediately clear, and no Council Members were available for comment.

Our reporter is on the scene, and THN will provide exhaustive continuing coverage on this pressing matter.